Hello guys.
Should I start by mentioning that today I made it to work on time. I did not have
to do a splint from the bus stop to the work place, as most days. A loud of
applause for me. Special thanks to my alarm clock, my bed for feeling less warm
this morning. And most importantly that crazy driver. Never had I appreciated irresponsible
driving as I did today. You did make my adrenaline flash from time to time. Nevertheless,
thank God am now drafting this post. After all what is life without some bits
of recklessness?
However,
let me not bigmouth you with my not so cool life. I have just alighted the bus
and I join all these other masses of people who seem to have woken up earlier
than I have. And here I was feeling so proud of myself.
I make my coat,
adjust my trousers and put on an “I-AM –AN-IMPORTANT-PERSON-IN-SOME-BIG-OFFICE-AND
–AM-ALSO-HEADED-TO-WORK” look. I join in on the town circus of busy people with
big important jobs.
But turns
out everything is not always as serious. If you are, keen enough.
“Damn! If
only I was that bold,” I say to myself as I notice a couple hug then kiss.
Right there on the busiest street in Nairobi, Moi Avenue Just right next to Mr.
Price. There are several buses stuck in traffic Jam and you expect the shiftless
passengers not to notice a free episode of “If loving you is wrong”. These are
the kind of stuff Ezekiel Mutua does not like us to see. One person in
particular, unconsciously finds himself glaring.
“If only
that was me” I imagine he must be thinking. I also picture there is a lady cursing,
out of jealousy maybe.
“What a
lack of manners and respect!”
If you are
reading this from somewhere else other than Africa then you must be thinking, what
is the big deal? But if you are from here, then I have one question for you.
Would you do it? Personally, No at least not yet. I need to grow some balls
first, (no offense to myself or anyone for this matter) not that the ones I have
are not sufficient, but you get the point. This is Africa and there are
expectations on the kind of way we express our love especially in public.
Sometimes I
don’t get why there is such stigma on couples holding hands in public. For the
ones who have tried it you must admit that it takes a lot of courage. However,
the feeling of ‘I don’t care what the world thinks, it’s me against the world”
is one of the greatest feeling you will experience as a couple. Ok, apart from
the most obvious. And I strongly believe those who criticize only luck the guts
to do the same. I am also a strong believer that even the slightest public
display of affection, is a big confidence builder to your partner. If he can
hold your hand in public then it shows he is proud and not ashamed of you. He
is ready to let the world know your souls have been intertwined.
Let not my
opinions be mistaken as a disregard for African culture. I refuse to be the
judge of what is wrong or right or how far you can go in public as a couple.
Maybe I need to get a bit of advice myself.
One reason
some choose to keep their feelings as a couple to themselves is the fear of
being judged. I have heard jealous people talk.
“Look at
how they hold hands in public, their love is still new and childish. We were
there at one point. It will all come to an end soon and they will get bored of
each other”
Moreover, I
think it is less of African culture and more of judgmental stereotypes who have
ruined their love lives and would like to condemn others to stale love lives. By
inflicting guilt, doubt and the fear of being shamed in public.
As much as
this is Africa, life is yours to live and enjoy. Am not asking you to walk
around naked, no. But do not let the fear of being judged by another person
stop you from making another being feel special.
We are
Africans and Africans with big hearts capable of expressing love in big ways. Yes,
we have our cultural Do’s and Don’ts but that in no way affects our ability to
love. No matter where we are or who we are with. So the next time you are on
the streets with that special person I dare you told hold that hand. Alternatively,
if that is too much to ask, at least do a finger.
