Lets Talk Business

   Hello guys, today i thought i should take my time and test my business skills on you, sorry if its sound rude or like am bragging, i assure you its nothing like it seems. so, lets get to business.
   I thought I should start with the definition of business. But, unfortunately I cant come up with something smart to scare you guys. so I will go around it the best way i know how. So, have you noticed how if anyone who doesn't a have a titled career like lets say a doctor, a pilot and all that, when asked what he or she does claims to be a business man or woman? well, that's the diversity of business. Confused? OK, let me try and put it  in a simpler way. A business in simple terms is an undertaking that benefits you in terms of cash or any other form, that can be quantified in monetary terms(you wont find that in any dictionary). Smart, right?
    With all that said, its almost impossible to talk about business without talking of investment. Now this is where love comes in. Whats an investment you might ask? Sorry am sure u r too smart to ask that. Am not here to show you how much business i know but you don't need an MBA to know that investing is putting your money into a venture that you believe will give you even more money ,simply put. I believe loving someone to be an investment, and the same way that you hear that investments are for the risk takers. Those not afraid of loosing their money. so is love. its not for the faint hearted, the amount of faith and trust you need to have for the one you are entering into "partnership" with cannot be underestimated. Its like taking a million dollars and investing it in a start up company, with no past cash flows to look at, you just have to look at forecasts and hope that the future brings good things. Sounds very unwise I know.
        If the little knowledge av acquired in business school serves me right, then i believe a business  has cycles, five or four i presume. There will be the start stage when the business is still young, then it will start to grow and then establish itself and if you are lucky will perpetually continue generating positive cash flows. But that is not guaranteed, it may face challenges and decline. At this stage you can decide to close or move to new ventures. Anyway enough flexing my knowledge muscles.
      Love also in a similar way has its stages, that i believe can be compared to that of the business. There is the courtship stage that can be compared to the start up, this is where you get to know each other, you try to establish your love for one another, this also can be called testing waters, as to if your relationship will be viable. And did i mention that this requires a lot of capital, getting her wont come cheap i know you guys can attest to that. Then when she finally says yes, now you are established and its official in the registrar of relationships that, there exists such a couple and no one can come claiming to own anything registered under the union. Hopefully your love will grow and also exist perpetually, i believe that is always the ultimate goal. But just like in business , that is not always guaranteed. The partnership may experience problems when the partners no longer agree, or if one partner's actions are not in the best interest of the other. For instance indulging in other business deals outside the partnership in secrecy.
       As i conclude, one key thing about investments is that , the investor expects returns. Just like in business, profits are essential. Undertaking a business that reports losses year in year out is just crazy, you don't need a professor to tell you that. Neither can you invest in a company making losses. Its throwing away your money. The same applies to love, staying stuck in a relationship that no longer adds benefits you, is insane. Some businesses will work while others will fail, that is just the nature of business and am sure most of us have no objection to that, that's why we keep hustling. I want us to apply the same to love, that there are relationships meant to work while others are just not meant to be keep trying until you find that which suits you. And if you are in a relationship that doesn't benefit you, walk out and if he or she asks you any question, am giving you permission to be rude and say. Nothing personal, just business!

Let The Heart Be The Boss

    William Shakespeare said that a light heart lives long. Most people will probably tell you not to put all your heart in one place and to guard it as it is your most valued treasure. I agree. But, on the treasure part, but about not putting your heart in one place, I have some reservations. Yeah I know it makes perfect sense to want to be even a little bit careful and protect yourself. But I also believe that a bird afraid of falling can never learn to fly. But you might ask me, what do I know of birds? Not a lot. But I will ask you this. Do you know how to ride a bicycle? I want to assume yes. Now do you remember that first time you got both your feet up? Do you remember the feeling? Me for one, I felt like I was flying an airplane. But I had fell n bruised myself many times before. But that hadn’t deterred me. Now if I sat down and listened to my mum tell me bicycles are dangerous. And decided to play safe, I wouldn’t have experienced the feeling I got. Now I know you are probably not sure if that example was the best. So let me bring you and me on the same page. You might think that riding a bicycle is pretty simple. So is falling in love. As a matter of fact, I believe falling in love is easier. Here is how and I don’t mean to be a pessimist but, when it comes to bicycles the pain comes before the excitement but with falling in love the pain if any, comes after the greatest frequents of adrenaline rush you will ever experience and I mean this in the good way. Any way enough about bicycles.
    It’s an agreeable fact that a heart that is in love has a tendency of being pretty stupid at times, ok most of the times. I for one have found myself making decisions and telling myself subconsciously
     “You are going to regret this.” but still do it anyway. Or doing something and then being like
      “I didn’t just do that!” It’s like when you are in love your brain and your heart become enemies. For instance, have you had a friend blinded so much by love that he or she is stuck in an abusive or an ‘unprofitable’ (don’t ask which one that is) relationship that they can’t seem to get out of. And things are so clear to you that it’s no longer beneficial but they still stick. And one day they come crying to you and you’ve just had enough and you yell at them…
      “Can’t you just use your brains for once!” Don’t blame them, most of us have been there, if not you will get there, not to be a prophet of doom or anything but…anyway am just trying to make a point. Scientifically and logically the brain is bigger in size than the heart, right? But for someone in love most of the times when the two challenge one another in a fight the heart will always seem to win. Come to think of it. Medically speaking, a heart attack will kill you almost instantly while a brain tumor can eat you up for several years…at least I think so. Well, my point is, for someone in love the heart is pretty powerful. You’ve heard people say ‘matters of the heart’ are complicated and warned you not to come in between two people in love whether fighting or cuddling. Nine out of ten of the times, they actually know what they are talking about. You never want to be caught up in a love triangle, most times the triangle ends up without one of the corners, if you see what I did there.
     So what of those who tell you not to love someone completely or as most would say ‘with all your heart’. There is nothing wrong with having a backup plan. But I believe when it comes to matters relationship that almost never works. You are either completely in or out. In or out…. In or out…Iiin! Or ooouut! …ok guys I think I’ve made my point now. I won’t ‘push’ it.
     As I wind up, I will ask a question. Do you believe when someone tells you to trust your guts? Or even your instincts. What of when people ask you to follow your heart or listen to your heart. The later do not exist only in fairy tales and soap operas, they do mean something in real life and actually work. I know a heart in love can be stupid but come to think of it, we were all born stupid, and we trusted our mum and dad coz they said they loved us and look where that got you, nowhere bad I presume. So am asking you to take a leap of faith guys, remember with high risks comes big rewards and nothing good comes easy. Lucky for you guys I have an easy way to happiness for you, just let the heart be the boss!  

Do Not Call Me By Name

     Happy new year my most esteemed readers. It's that time of the year again where we get to go on and about our so called new year resolutions that don't even get to see the end of the month. Not to worry,  av got one silent God given resolution that you've kept year in year out.
     So, still talking about resolutions.  Do you remember the day you were born? Silly me! ofcourse not. I will tell you one other thing you were not aware of,  that from that day you passed a resolution that the two people that made you and we're probably smiling their faces out the day you came into this world, will always remain special to your heart and you will never call them by name.
     If there is one person that I have never and will probably never call by name is my mother.  The very idea is just absurd and weird.  For instance imagine your dad's name is Chris,  you are at the dinner table,  you need him to pass you the salt. Would you call out?
     "Hey Chris,  can you pass me the salt"
It's just weird, and unheard of, it would probably lead you into trouble.  It doesn't mean that that's not his name,  it just means that your relationship is beyond official.
      So here is my point. I want to believe if you are curious enough to read this article you must have a special someone somewhere. I am not sure what his or her name is but one thing am sure is that you have called them one of these...
    Babe-If she is sexy. Boo-If you find her sexy. Pumpkin- As she is bright and sweet. Cupcake- If she is sweet and yummy. Lemon- If she adds something new and exciting to your life. Booboo-if he kisses all your Booboos better... And for those who watch telenovelas-Mi Amor, sweetheart, darling, Bae... 
      Basically the list is endless, we can go on and on. Mine also has a special one just for me... Want to hear it?  Well,  if I tell you guys it won't be so special  after all.
       My question is,  if you have an endless list of names you can call that special someone to make them feel even more special,  why ruin it by calling them by their names.? Like my earlier example it's just weird and absurd.
      I will give you a short story of mine. Am walking to school one morning and I notice Bae in front of me about 100m or so.  So I could shout to her or blow a whistle at her,  but that's degrading and disrespectful,  and I also could call her by name, but it would just come out wrong.  So what do I do? ... I bolt as fast as I can until am close enough to whisper "babe".  And she says
     "Why did you have to run?,  why not just call out?"
      "And call you babe in public in front of all these people?"

Sure enough most would have just used the name as the safer option which doesn't involve 'burning some calories'.
So guys let's be romantic and drop those funny names, unless, her name is such as, Rose, Melody, Daisy,  Angel or CINDERELLA.
Therefore I hereby declare 2017 a year of sweet names. And am giving you a new years resolution please do not call him or her by name.

LOVEBIRDS FLY AWAY!

PERPETUAL WAR ZONE

Someone told me Love equals Hate. That you must be aware of hate so as to understand love. We’ve all watched movies where words of “I hate you”, “I hate you too” have been followed by kissing, making out and you know what. Some will even say that it’s possible to love someone so much that you end up hating them. So I ask a question. Does the existence of love completely prohibit that of hate or can the two mutually exist? If your answer is no, then allow me to challenge you. You will agree with me if I say that the most common characteristic of a couple is their inability to agree on the most nonsensical things. There are also the non-ending fights. I remember after dating for less than a year and I was already running to my best friend every now and then because we were not in terms with my “Bae”. She would tell me. “You guys are meant to be, look, you are already fighting like a married couple” It used to irritate me at the time because I felt like she ought to have sided with me and told me of how bad my bae was. But years later we were still fighting sometimes of things I couldn’t even share with my best friend because they didn’t just make sense. So I got used to the situation and accepted the fact that we will always be in this “perpetual warzone” it didn’t mean we didn’t love each other enough coz we always got through our problems. Somehow I would encourage myself that we were being prepared for something greater in future. But still it irritated me how much we could fight over anything. Sorry to say but it seemed to be her fault, I thought of her as less understanding. Of course it was her fault, how could I have accused myself. Would you? And I think that’s where the problem begins. When one starts to think he or she is more sensible, more understanding and perfect or mature than their partner. When one is unwilling to accept that there is a possibility they could be wrong and the partner right. And that’s where the war begins, a quest to prove who is mightier. A fight to the death and the punishment in this case not death but an apology. And sure it feels like death to have to swallow your pride and say sorry. So most would rather share the punishment and that’s why when the fighting begins it will always be… “You did this…” “And you did this…” “I wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t…” And the blame game will go one until one of you has had enough and for the sake of the both of you or for any other reason gives in. For instance, its already nighttime and he knows he won’t be getting it, he weighs his choices and an apology is a small price to pay. He will apologize even if he isn’t guilty but keep record for future reference if you know what I mean. So the next time you fight you won’t be fighting because of whatever stupid thing you can’t agree on but also for that time he took the fall just because it was convenient for him. So I started to ponder on why these fights never seem to come to an end. So I thought, have you ever found yourself at crossroad trying to decide what to do about a certain matter? Or did something and then blamed yourself for it? Obviously if you belong to the class of mammals that I do the answer is yes. That means that life is complicated by yourself without even adding another person to the picture. Now imagine adding someone else to that picture your “better half” that’s what you call them. Now every decision you make has to involve two people and any mistake affects two people. If you are about to make a decision they have to be involved and sorry to say if by any chance you mess up, you don’t only blame yourself this time but someone else will take pleasure in blaming you too. It’s like your life is no longer your own, your body not your own, your thoughts are not your own and the most important thing in your life, your heart, belongs to someone else. Living your life becomes a job and your partner becomes your boss, scrutinizing everything you do. Coz they own you. Can you imagine working for your boss for years without pressure or arguments? It’s impossible. Most of us get fired under one year. Some of us resign willingly coz they can’t take the pressure. There is no perfect job without challenges, that’s why we get paid. There are no perfect relationships without fights and quarrels that’s why…. I can’t tell what you get out of yours but there must be something that’s why despite the problems and fights you still stick.

LOVE AND SPONSORSHIP

LOVE AND SPONSERSHIP “Sponsor” If the oxford dictionary was to be rewritten in Kenya right now I think they would probably rewrite the alphabet and have “S” as the first letter and sponsor being the first word. The only problem I think would be to get the one and the most appropriate meaning for it. This new trend is everywhere, the word sponsor has spread like wild fire, it has become a virus spread by word of mouth. Most would say it has become viral. Even my mum talks of it, I even suspect my grandmother has heard of it. Lately I took a colleague for lunch and surprisingly the next day I had become her sponsor. So this is what I have gathered about sponsors. First and most importantly He or She has to have a heavy bank account. And by He or She I mean exactly that, I hear that this thing doesn’t discriminate on gender. Somehow I think that these so called sponsors are the “old-fashioned” sugar daddies and sugar mummies. What they’ve done is added a fancy name to it. Think of it like how prostitutes are called “sex-workers” or gold diggers have been called “Escorts”. Secondly, these so called sponsors majority of times tend to be older. Most will tell you this somehow makes the whole thing convenient. Ask me how. So this is how it works. If he or she is older the probability that he or she is married is next to one or the chances are 9 out of 10. And how is this a good thing? You might ask. This means their whole life don’t revolve around you. Trust me, this is a good thing. This means you not the person he will stress if he didn’t get that promotion or his project didn’t go through, generally that’s a wife’s job. She will do all the dirty work for you. Yours is to enjoy. And don’t get me wrong I don’t evangelize on the whole sponsorship thing. A friend was telling me why the fairly old make good sponsors. “They are not into the whole Fifty Shades of Grey kind of thing”. For some the whole idea of being with someone younger on itself is enough to quench their sexual fantasies. “For most you go missionary and 5 minutes into it he is done” she continued. “And then you have enough money to last you a month but he claims it’s just for a few days, it’s like getting a month’s salary for a one-day job” she added. So here is my worry. Sponsorship unlike love is more of an agreement. Think of it as a business, service for money. And even when we call it a business, it barely seems fair, one party tends to benefit more. I believe sex is not a commodity to be traded like bread, I don’t even understand how the price is set. How much is enough? What do u do if what you get isn’t enough. Do you bargain basing on the level of satisfaction? The length of the engagement? The looks and feel of your body? I honestly don’t know and can’t start to imagine. Sex is a gift of love, to be shared by those with a deeper connection, more than lust and passion. My fear is that this new trend is replacing love. Most feel love is too complicated, to many, love is associated with heartaches, endless arguments, stress, infidelity and betrayal not to mention others. And on the other hand sponsorship has no commitments, no infidelity, no stress and lots and lots of money. The irony is this. Not to pick on you ladies but, how do you still call yourself independent if you have a sponsor, when you obviously still depend on another for money. I believe there is still a lot to gather from love and a genuine and decent relationship. There is more to life than just good living and a life of partying. And it actually feels good to have something you can call yours. Open your eyes, that money isn’t yours and that sponsor is definitely not yours either.

Should I Say Hae

Yesterday I saw you a new, didn’t think it was someone I knew, such beautiful faces are few. You looked as good as new. You looked like some famous girl I didn’t know. But how comes no boys were fighting if only to say Hae no paparazzi were following you with cameras. Somebody give me a camera I’ve got myself a new job, wouldn’t mind following you around for the rest of my life.
But no, it seems I wasn’t seeing right, maybe my eyes were not getting enough light. So, I brushed them with my hands, then I noticed they were not clean enough to say hae, I rubbed them against my clothes. Then I realized, my shirt was untucked, as fast as I could, I tucked it in only to realize my zip was undone. I was perplexed, hypnotized and embarrassed all at the same time. But I had come too far to give up now, too embarrassed to walk away now, too weird to go without hello.

So with a few more steps to go, I let go and set myself free, from the fear of being rejected, maybe I was stepping into a land mine, headed for a suicide mission, but you looked worth dying for. Whuuu! I breathed, what can probably go wrong? I encouraged myself.

Approaching a beautiful girl had never been easier, I had that weird feeling that marrying couples allegedly have just before their spouses say I do. Although they know she or he will probably say YES they can’t help but wonder. What if he says no, what if she changes her mind, I will be embarrassed in front of all these people…what will I do?

I carefully calculated my steps, one, two, three, four…. five steps I estimated. So carefully like a soldier I took my first, second, third and fourth steps….

Then I walked away.

How could I probably have said hae, when she looked so beautiful, how could I introduce myself n keep my dignity and my manly ego alive…I did what every sound minded man would have done, I walked away.
You never say hae to your Ex when they look much better than you.   

HOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR EX DOESN'T HAUNT YOU

So, if asked. What do u miss about your EX? Hmmm! Let me see… Her beauty, her charm, her ability to make me smile, and not forgetting she was pretty amazing in…. Wait a minute, who am I kidding I remember NOTHING! That is how it’s supposed to be. Ever thought of the word EX. Let us give it a though, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the word EX. And you better not be thinking of “EXE” The chapatti cooking flour, if you do then you are lost you will keep going back. EX should mean cross, not the cross of Jesus Christ, no blasphemy intended, but cross as in the cross put on those Huruma buildings that were to be brought down, demolished, unfit for human habitation. They were a death sentence, people had to vacate, they actually did. And they were not to look back. Am sure they will thank God afterwards for having their eyes opened, they are probably in better houses by now. Ok I think that’s enough, hopefully you’ve gotten the picture. So how do you make sure that your EX is exactly that, a matter of the past. A deleted partition in your long term memory, never to be recovered. Its starts right before you make that decision to walk away. Make sure that decision isn’t abrupt and driven by emotions of anger or bad advice. Such decisions have a tendency of being foolish and bring regrets in future. So before you choose to chase them out of your life or walk away depending on which you prefer. Make sure you won’t end up needing them in the future. Don’t be afraid to swallow your pride willingly and with that any pain caused. It might save you from embarrassment and forcefully having to do so in future, driven by feelings you thought you were over and done with. So before you call it quit make sure you fully convince your heart and mind there is nothing else you could have done. And don’t just sit and convince yourself, go ahead and try to do something other than walk out. Also be sure to ask for advice from close friends who have your interest and well-being at heart. Make sure they are friends who are themselves dating. Don’t choose football spectators and fans who know how to play the ball better than the players and coaches. If you know what I mean. After you have finally made your decision that you need to put an “X” before the girlfriend or boyfriend it is very important to get rid of all attachments you had with your newly elected EX. If there was this favorite food joint the both of you used to go and there are chances that you might bump into each other, then don’t go. How are you supposed to forget each other if you keep seeing one another? If you still hold on to that gift she or he gave you, or have that chain you exchanged as you rehearsed the vows you had promised to say before the alter in future, around your neck. Then that’s a hanging rope round your neck. Get rid of it. Generally, the point is to get rid of any kind of thing whether breathing or not that reminds you of him or her. The other important thing is to accept and convince yourself that it’s not going to be easy. You never forget your Ex in a week or month some even take years. If you break up today and a month later you don’t even remember their name, then that wasn’t a relationship. Looks more of a business deal gone wrong. So don’t hate yourself if you still see her face in the street as you walk, see him in your dreams when you sleep or fell her sent under the sheets at night it will take some time. It rarely means you made a mistake, nor does it mean you’ve left you MR. Right. But eventually you will get rid of them, just like I did.