WHY MEN ARE CRYING BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

                                             

Whoever said that a real man is defined by his ability to shut off his feelings? Real men do not cry, so I am told. Apparently as a man, the more I pretend I do not care, the more of a man I am. Maybe whoever says this have their reasons. For now, that does not interest me for this is what I think….

This is where I ask men to forgive me for any secret I bring out with or without my knowledge. Let me make it clear that I respect the “Bro code”.

 If you spot a group of men from a far deep in conversation, if there is one thing you are almost sure they are not discussing. It is love related matters; it is usually football, lots and lots of football. Other times girls, and do not get me wrong. Not how much they love girls. The word will be how ‘crazy’ they are about this girl or how attractive she is. They will avoid the word love as much as they can. A man will obviously and clearly be head over heels for a girl but when asked by his mates about it, will shrug her off as an acquaintance or claim she is the one after him.

If there is one thing I will never admit I envy about ladies, or maybe I just did, is their ability to share on love related matters. I don’t understand why a group of men is mistaken to be a gang. Ladies make the perfect gang, assassins to be more specific. They will stand by each other to the grave. If you break her trust me her friends will be the first to know and offer her support. Equally when you making her feel like Meghan Markle on the day of the royal wedding, they will know. Ladies are each other’s emotional safe havens.

Men on the other hand, are die-hards. He would rather visit the doctor first from depression rather than open up to his friends about a heartbreak. He will cry behind closed doors and pretend not to care in public. Let me make it known. If anyone out there ever doubted if men have a heart. Yes we do. The biggest of hearts. I just think most of men just like to play safe. I think we are misjudged. I think there is too much expectation on how a man should be. What he ought to do or not do. I equally believe some of us are afraid. Most of us are good actors, Oscar deserving. But don’t point fingers, it’s our nature. It’s what makes us interesting.

With all that said I think it’s not any less cool for a man to talk about love. I mean, I talk about it, does that make me any less of a man? For my sake let that remain rhetorical. But I mean, it’s no secret our chests are not a vacuum covered by a layer of muscles under which lies an ice cold ribcage. There is a heart in there. I will tell you something that biology didn’t teach you. Another function of the heart besides pumping blood. Loving. I don’t understand why we placed all this stigma around men openly talking about love. It’s no secret that most of the legendary love songs have been composed and sang by men. And still we continue to dominate. Sorry but I have to PG18 drop this one. But how can we make love if we have no love or feelings. Coz let no one fool you, it’s not all about kiss, touch and smash. Kiss, touch and smash, then repeat the process. It’s boring and doesn’t last if there are no feelings involved.

I am putting my neck on the line when I say we are weak, we get attached too. We love too. We get crazed too. Ask Samson from the bible, if he is not honest enough. Ask David, he was a king, he had everything. He was the perfect example of a man, had everything a man would want, power and all. Yet we all know how the story goes. I believe men shouldn’t be afraid to express their feelings, doesn’t make you any less of a man. Think of life as a battle of the sexes. And we know where the boy child is.

There is nothing too complicated about men. If you look deep enough with an open mind, we are pretty simple to understand. I once heard that a man is like a baby, it was a conversation about how in marriage a man is your first baby. And I will ask, do babies cry? Before you go all judgmental, I dint say men are babies and neither did I say they are not. A kikuyu proverb goes “A clever person has no difficulty in understanding information” hopefully I translated that right. So ladies when he wrongs you and cries about it, can we always just forgive him. He really means it *wink*.