The 'SHE' Project

Every man loves a challenge. And every girl loves to play hard to get every once in a while. That's what makes courtship somewhat of a game. Like a movie of 'catch me if you can' with  Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pursuing a lady is like undertaking a project, you first have to make a declaration that you have no other commitments anywhere. Make a literature review, this is the general overview of why you are interested in her, explain what you intend to achieve, what is your goal. Here you will deal with questions such as, why me? What will stop you from leaving me? What makes me so special? Why do you love me?
So when i met you, there was that deep connection between the two of us. But because of one reason or the other we couldn't tangle, not as much as i wanted. Unfortunately there was too much going on with you.  The way you were around me rang bells of 'I_want_you_and_very_much_love_your_company'.
Those were the first days, when our hearts were still warm. Warm with expectations, we were still discovering ourselves. Each day i had found a different and new way to make you smile.
But now there started to develop something that was blocking me. Maybe not a permanent barrier, coz i could still get to you. But, there was a sieve. Something that was blocking that which wasn't safe for your heart maybe. One day i would feel we were definitely headed in the right direction and the next day i would feel like something had changed.
The way things seemed. You had a lot going on your life. Or maybe it's your thirst for that which you expected to receive from the world, and the fear of disappointment. When things turned out not as good.
For someone who reads so much of fantasy romance novels you sure have a lot of reservations.
I can tell you want all those things plus more. Don't ask me what. I can see the hunger in your eyes. The hunger for a  special kind of love. Wish i could be the chef that satisfies your hunger. The rhythm that your heart beats to. The director, Your director. Wish we could make us a soap opera. I already  have the ending figured out. Trust me they wont see this one coming.
But for now all i can do is wish. How i wish i could make you my project. I have all the resources i need. I know we have a lot of work to do. But guided by one objection, to make you mine. I will be the hardest worker you've ever seen. Let me make you my field of study. I am sure there is more to you than you let out, I can feel it. So, with one knee on the floor i ask, will you be my project?

Designated Survivor

Designated survivor. What comes to mind when you hear these two words? Am sure by now most of us have already enjoyed the series. If not, then what are you waiting for? Am giving you a day, go watch it then come back I won’t have moved an inch. I will still be here waiting for you. That’s how much I care for you. Who are we kidding? Am sure your curiosity would probably get the best of you and you would still end up reading the whole article anyway. So since that’s your fault and you can’t blame me for spoiling the movie for you, let us continue. Shall we? So who is a designated survivor? you might ask. Sorry but when I tried to google the meaning, the best google could do was advertise the movie series. So once again go watch the movie. Sorry, you can’t say I didn’t try.
I am done playing around with your patience. I always seem to talk about love, so am sure you must be wondering how the movie fits in love related matters. Sorry to burst your bubble if you haven’t watched the movie but the producer didn’t exactly have love as a theme for the movie, the actors have their pants on pretty much through the whole movie. Sorry. So here is the catch, we are going to be talking about the heart.
Sometimes I think God was unfair when allocating functions to the parts of the body. For such a small part, the heart was surely given more than it should have. But what do I know? He is the big boss and we ask no questions. So this is it. I’ve talked in my previous articles, about how most of us are careful not to put our hearts or love all in one place. Most of us at one point in life have or will go through a heart break.
For those of us who can relate, trust me it’s never business as usual. Picture this, our hearts as the president of our bodies. We can agree to it being the big boss. The commander in chief. Scientifically it would make sense to say ‘he’ is in charge of the day to day running of his ‘nation’. The brain is his chief of staff, the eye is the minister for foreign affairs the rest I leave for you to decide on how your cabinet will be structured. Feel free to leave a comment in the comments below let’s see how creative you can be.
When we get into a relationship, we will agree that it’s always a big risk. A threat to national security. Anything can happen and there are no guarantees. Just like Tom Kirkman was the designated survivor on the night of the state union, he was the guy to head the country incase anything was to happen to the president, vice and those who follow in the hierarchy of power. I believe the heart should have a designated survivor. I know the whole idea sounds absurd but give it a thought. Our case is even worse than the movie. Think, if anything was to happen to the heart, which organ would step in, the brain? Trust me am speaking from experience when I say it’s not to be trusted. How many times have people gone back to their exes after a heart break? Do you think they were using their brains? And now that ‘Mr. Intelligent’ is out of the picture, what other options do we have. And please let’s not talk of anything below the shoulders, and even worse nothing below the waist. That is a national disaster, a state of emergency. Then what do I suggest, that we should be born with three hearts, one for pumping blood, the other for love related issues and one more just in case one of the first two fails? If that’s what it takes to bring sanity in the world of relationships, then yes. In fact, when I resurrect for my second part of life I want to come back prepared, (nitakuja nimejipanga).
If there is something life has taught me, is to always have a backup plan. No matter how obvious it seems that things will play out in your favor. Always ask yourself what if. This is in no way a ticket for all of you to get paranoid or untrustworthy, just keep your eyes and mind open. Relationships are as critical as running a nation. And just like in the movie sometimes it doesn’t take qualifications. As a matter of fact, there are no qualifications to run a perfect relationship. You just need to believe in it enough and work towards it, and the secret is not to give up easily. There is always an option. Someone said if plan A fails, try plan B if that fails, the alphabet has over 20 more letters.

Our First Kiss

A kiss wasn’t the first thing that came to mind the first time I saw her. But I must have thought to myself, damn! is she pretty or what? I could say it was love at first site but due to the fear you might not believe me, let us not go there, at least not yet. I remember on that first day I got one of those weird feelings that something about her just felt right. My eyes were stuck on her for the whole evening. She was new to the place and I was more than willing to be of help. I knew that fate had something in store for us but never had I guessed it would come as soon as it did.
Through the next couple of days, I had found myself wondering how it would feel to kiss her. I remember how I would steal glances at her lips and imagine them interlocked with mine. She had the kind of eyes that you just wanted to stare down, they were the kind of eyes that had that innocent look and a bit of naughty written on them. It itched me not to know her in so many other ways. Unfortunately, most of the times we met was in public eyes and this wasn’t the best place to confess my overly growing affection towards her. I would intentionally make us lag behind after crowds and colleagues and pass her naughty compliments and comments. She would smile or pass a hand gesture and I would feel like the greatest man in the world even if for just a second.
She had a ‘more than just ok ‘body. The kind that caused heads to turn, the kind that was not too sexy to marry but hot enough to give you insecurities. Her personality was the kind that forced a smile on every man’s face who dared talk to her. The kind of personality that kept every man on his good behavior. She was the kind of girl who was not shy to make her presence known in a group. The kind who commanded attention without begging for it. She was most definitely my kind of girl.
On this fateful day, I had hit the jackpot. I was the man on top of the world. Today was the second time she was coming at my place ‘for a movie’. The first time she came I had painfully played the gentleman card. The closest we came together had been when I hugged her goodbye. This time I planned things to be different, I risked being taken as a looser. It was today or never. This sudden need to kiss her had to be satisfied. I sound crazy, I know, trust me I was even more crazy at the time. suddenly I couldn’t think straight, it was like I was thinking from my lips. Every conversation we  seemed to start was boring to me. I didn’t want to talk anymore, I just wanted to shut her up and show her a different kind of language. The language of our lips. It’s not like I am the best kisser there is but I was pretty confident of myself.
So, I took a deep breath. I thought to myself, what the heck. Her being there, at my place, just me and her, looking as beautiful as she did, must have counted for and meant something. Otherwise, what kind guy did she take me for? What could possibly go wrong? What is the worst that could have happened?
I took a not so long look into her eyes, she stared back and her eyes seemed to give in to my silent request. so I leaned in and went for it. Three seconds must have felt like a life time coz when she finally pulled away I knew; I wasn’t anywhere close to having enough. Now I needed no permission to really show her how I felt. It didn’t take long and I was already running out of breath, I was already breathing heavily. I had always had this fear of drowning, and now it felt as if I was drowning but not of water but pleasure. How was that even possible? Had she not taken small breaks to look deep into my eyes and let me know the feeling was mutual, I would think she was trying to run me out of breath and kill me. But now I was sure she needed and wanted me too much to want me dead. That couch had always felt big, but today it felt small. We moved from one position to the next for two main reasons among others. One, to showcase my prowess in the art of love making and two, to find the most comfortable position coz it was clear this was going to take some time. It was amazing how perfectly she fit in my arms. It was as if she were hand made for me. she must have been impressed coz I was, with myself. It was as if we had rehearsed for this day time and again. Everything seemed to fit perfectly, there was no wrong step, no wrong move or weird moment. That’s how things were, just perfect…….
To be continued