My First love

Today I am writing this letter to my first love.... Honestly I dont know who that is.... After all am too young to understand love or maybe I do. But here is the thing

I know its been months or years maybe(after all I dont know who am talking to) since our love Issues came to an end, our so called love affair. I know you loved me. But I thought i loved you too. I know I made you promises. I laugh at myself just thinking about them. I even thought I would marry you.
       I curse the first day i called you baby.... Thats what we were "babies" maybe we were not aware of what we were saying and doing.
        I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. Now am sure if I was to see you again I wouldn't look twice.
        I am sorry I have to be this honest to you. But it kills me with shame to think I was ever that naive. They say you never foget your first love. But, you  i wont forget for all the wrong reasons.
      My love, I used to call you, I love you, I used to tell you, forever I used to think. In love I thought I was. A fool I know I was.
          But all that said, I am grateful you taught me things. You taught me how to make her smile, thanks to you I knew how to love, thanks to you am no longer so shy, thanks to you I know when she is sad.  And thanks to you I know what beauty is and thanks to you I know what love is and is not.
      Am glad that you.... Were... MY FIRST LOVE

Facebook will take her away

So, today I am talking to all He's. I believe you have a precious human being somewhere.
       So, whats your idea of a perfect girl? Is it that one who is not too much into the things of the world . Am sure you dont want a challenger for a spouse.  You dont want her to know more than you do.  You want to be the teacher.  The controller. Many would say "we ndo kusema".  Well, I dont blame you.
        Okei, so with that said.  If you are lucky to have such. Well and good.  But you have one very dangerous rival.  Facebook. All she has to do is, register, login, edit her profile and vualla she starts to update her status. This takes only afew mins. And how long did it take for her to fall for your charms....?.
      Now, one very important thing is her status. If you are lucky she will either leave it empty or fool you by saying "In a relationship" . Sorry if you thought you that important.  This is ment to make them all jealous and they will pursue her more.
       Am sure you've always called her "dear".  Wait untill loads of other guyz call her babe, sweetheart, honeycomb, darln, princes... She will be fluttered all the way from your arms to a guy she will probably never meet or see.
     You think telling her you love her is enough.  You wait and see the likes on her pics.  Wait untill she starts to be complimented in a way you have never. In afew days her friends list will hit a thoudand+.  And who knows how many of these are men, and how many fill her inbox with texts? Worse...who knows what the hell they even talk about. News flash, thats Facebook.

Those stupid crushes

      I remember my first crush as if it was just yesterday... Beautiful, angelic, beauteous, sheen, shapely, hot name them... Who am i kidding? I can barely recall her face.
    That's how crushes are. They at the time turn you upside down. They decorate your face with smiles, your mind with thoughts and your heart with expectations.
    "I am in love" you convince yourself.
    "she is the love of my life"
    "I have met my better half" you feel your head with ideas.
     But, unfortunately they are never there to stay and when you look back and remember, after everything erupts and dies.  You can't  help but laugh at your foolish self.
        Crushes come in different forms. There are those that can be justified and these you can share with others. For example, that girl at school that everybody likes, that neighbor that you never dared to talk to,....
         There are those that are forbidden.  These you will agree are more sweet and dangerous. We start with that teacher whose lessons you enjoy yet never perform in that subject,
        
         Dear teacher, i have a confession to make....
I accuse myself guilty of everything am about to say
I never sleep in class
I am always staring at you
I never understand a word you say
When you make a joke am always the first to laugh
I don't like the way you teach
But i love the way you a_dress
The class
I promise to pass your subject
Bt i need one favour from you....

Or is it your girlfriend's boyfriend or the other way round, the plumber that comes every week to fix your tap.... The list is endless...
But one thing i know we should be happy.  Crushes make life exiting, and stupid and give us things to talk to our friends about.

DON'T GIVE UP ON LOVE

    So, is there anything as love? And i don't mean the kind of love you feel for your sister or brother. Neither is it the one you claimed to feel for you ex nor is it the kind you picture on soap operas on TV.
      I admit, i also do confusse myself trying to elucidate this feeling that is supposed to be so great. But am not here to confuse you.
       "There is no such thing as love, not even in marriage"  someone once told me.
        "You know why!?  Men are devils.... They can never keep their hands to themselves" she happened to be a she.
        I believe the worst thing that ever happened that has ever spread the anti-love campaign, is the spread of the myth all men or women are bad.
      If you believe that everyone is bad how do you expect to find a good one.
Just because your previous lover was an a** doesnt make everyone else one.  Your ex shouldn't define your future husband.
       I like to view it like this, your ex left you for his or her right person.  You were not ment to be.  He or she was just another frog you had to kiss before meeting the prince.  Yours just left someone else headed for you.  All you have to do is wait and not to give up on love.
        

Is Sexuality such a problem for men?

  Davids reign was brought down by a woman 'I mean from the bible' (for those who didn't attend Sunday school). King Solomon had so many concubines... And was he the strong guy who was defeated coz of Delilah??... U get the idea.
    We've all watched super hero movies. And how the bad guy gets to the hero through the woman he loves. Like in the case of superman and lois lane.
     Generally men were created as a package that comes along with one weakness. Woman. Eve, as in the bible.
       So I was thinking , maybe its true we were created with magnetic eyes and the steel isn't real steel. No. Its more of fleshy steel , not as hard as steel but as soft as....well , you get the idea.
       Try and notice how slow men react to a fancy car on the road and how fast the same men will react to a lady with a huge bottom in a short skirt. She doesn't necessarily have to be good looking on the face. I thought men had a weakness for great cars. Well I guess its even a better deal if you actually get to drive the car. If you know what I mean.
          We are all familiar with how the issue of the 'Ass_kari' became trending. Was it because of how we all fell for her face? Or how well she did her job? We don't need an answer for that one.
         Some people insist on the fact that before a man notices a woman face chances are he has already inspected her "ass_ets" from behind.
         We all at one time fall for the package before taking time to know the person. My friend once told me , there is a reason why all secretaries are women and the bosses are men. If you want to win that contract, send a Lady rep. If you want to raid an army barrack use women soldiers. If you want to conquer a kingdom , marry your daughter to the king.
        Its hard to understand what it is in our blood that makes a human being with long hair, a beautiful face, two round things on the chest ,broad hips and whatever else there is to women (no offence) such a big deal.
My mother (a woman) also tells me to be carefull about them..So I ask men and women what's the big deal?

Just thought i should say this

Love.....,
    It's the closest thing to paradise but hurts like hell. Ever loved someone? Maybe you did but unfortunately didnt recognise it, or maybe you have always found it hard to believe it was the right person.
   That person that you couldnt stop yourself from thinking about. That who stole your thoughts whenever you closed your eyes, that person whose thought alone makes your heart beat faster.  When its that person you never stop to think.
  Most people meet that special someone along the way but in some occasions never realise it. Maybe because they are too worried about him/her being worse or like their previous experiences. Or maybe they are afraid of commitments. Some are always looking for the wrong characteristics.
   Maybe I can help
   So, think of a person whose jokes you cant resist, whose smile blows you away, whose closeness makes you quiver with nervousness, whose words go strait to your heart, that person whose date you were never late, whose voice is like music to your ears, whose face makes your eyes shy and whose love you love.

If you've gotten a face...maybe...maybe youve got yourself a mr or mrs right...but who knows maybe he or she got hit by a bus. No hard feelings. Its called life.

DOES SHE LIKE YOU??

Love has always grown from friendship. We,ve all had girls who have been just friends. Mostly its strictly friendship but once you become emotionally attached you both want more. But its not obvious girls will always show direct signs if she is into you.
   Girls will never approach you and tell you directly"hey! I like you alot" that will be the end of the world. Unless she is realy the confident type. Its rare.
Here are the signs;

1.Change of voice tone

once  you start a conversation. Watch if she stares as you as you talk. And when its her turn to speak watch if her tone changes to be more smoother.

2.Laughing when not supposed to

A girl that likes you will always laugh at your dumpest jokes. She will always want you to notice you in a crowd and give her more attention.

However, if she doesnt look at you in the eye,  that doesnt always mean she doesnt like you. She's just afraid she will give too much away. Its not also a gurantee she will always laugh. So, regulate your jokes and dont be a jerk in the hope that she will laugh. U dont always have to be funny.

3.Flirting and teasing
While in a conversation be sure to look out for signs of flirting. If she is teasing you more than she should and is very free with you. Thats a green light for you.

4.Random hugs
Watch out for random hugs preseved for you. But this happenns once you get more attached.
5. Unexplained contact
Whenever you are with a girls that likes you she will always find ways to touch you. For instance she may hit you in the stomach when both of you are laughing.

6. The 'i like you' stare

You can tell by the way she looks at you. She will either hold her gaze on you for  a long time or pull away when your eyes meet.

7. Her friends

Look at her friends. If you see most of them staring back at you. She has probably spoken to them about you. Also be careful they might be acting to get both of you together. So listen for words like "stop teasing" or " be quiet he might hear"

So stop bitting yourself wondering if she likes you when the signs are right there...

SOURCE

WHAT IS LOVE

    Love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies, love is temporaly madness it errupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it does you have to make a decision. You work out whether you have become so close, that it is inconviable that you should ever part.
     Others tell me...."To me love is a feeling of desperity, anger within containing deep perfection and anxiety towards something, by anger I mean total madness"
    Love is a sweet melody sang by two, love is pain and no one can explain it. Love is also patience and where there is no trust there is no love , its found where least expected.
    Love is beyond everything-A feeling that you cant touch, taste but you can cuddle and caress, its what the docter prescribes as madness.
    For sure this term can be explained in over a thousand words without an end resolution. Everyone has his own idea of love.

MY Happiest Moment

Ask me whats my happiest moment. And its right there when you smile at me, lick your lips, look straight into my eyes and come close. For me that is paradise, that moment when we communicate with our lips. You kiss my upper lip to say you love me and I love you back by kissing your lower.

I WISH

Sometimes I wish my life was recordable. Do you know why? Only then would you understand how a mess I am when you are not around. If my memories were visible you would loose count of the countless times I think of you. If my wishes came true you would have to be with me each and every day. If  I am not being sincere then this words then dont make sense.

I MISS YOU

You know, those lonely moments when she is far, you sit alone watching that romantic movie. That moment when the 'lovebirds' cuddle n kiss, or that romantic date by the roof top, or may be that super hero kind of romance that gets you thinking. What bad luck for you, she seems never to be around during this moments, and when she is time flies n leaves you with memories. That time when you wake up in the middle of the night, walk out, stare at the sky and blow a kiss in the air saying 'I miss you'

MATCH MAKING

When I decided to fall in love I never planned it to be you. But, who ever plans? Destiny has its own way of match making. And when it gave me such a safe place for me to keep my heart. It wasnt wrong. I wouldn't ask for better coz you are my best

Realization

REALIZATION
I remember when I said
I aint seen no one better
To you it might have been fliter
But then I realized
The problem was with me
Maybe i was looking with my heart
And not my eyes

My heart already belongs to you
So how foolish I was
To expect to see else where
If it were up to my eyes
I would probably run off
To every good thing i see

But luckily enough
My heart is stronger
Somehow it manages
To shut closed my eyes
And remind my mind
I see no one else
And love no one
Else but you

Have a look at my upcoming novel

COUPLING WITH LOVE
By: joshiatez muriush ft. Ken mush

A TEENAGE LOVE STORY

INTRODUCTION

   In life there is always that period that you live never to forget. For the above story love was one thing this guy couldn't and wouldn't forget.
   Join me as I take you through one of the greatest love story of an ordinary teenager in our ordinary world.
    They say love makes you a yes man, makes you weak and a slave. But after it all you look back and realize its all worth it. For most of us high school is the most epic part of our lives we experience tremendous growth both physically and emotionally. For most of our lives this is the know it all stage. Coincidentally, this is where our love story begins.   

                 

    CHAPTER ONE   

HIGH SCHOOL 
        When I joined high school, you would have called me naive. As long as I didn’t hear you.That's besides the point. But one thing that gave me a nightmare of an experience was the treatment. High school was a quiet an experience although somehow I wished it would all come to an end. Fortunately it didn’t without something that would have made the experience worthwhile. If there was ever an event that I looked forward to was going out for school outings. Visiting a girl school made it even more exciting. We used to call them "funkiez" for us this was a time to 'quench our thirst'. Unfortunately not every one could pay for these outings. You then had to wait for the free events such as drama festivals, music festivals and others. I at one time tried my luck with these events. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a great love story. I remember how it all started.

CHAPTER TWO

THE SCIENCE CONGRESS
   
   "Rise and shine and put those sleepy heads to work boys" shouted the captain in charge of The Science Congress group popularly known to us as "Mchawi" (witch)
   “Direct orders from the patron 'By 8:00am (not earlier not later) each member of the team should be through with preparation. No disappointment whatsoever. The" computer and science labs are open' orders from above"

"Like seriously? She expects us to do that as early as now" I found myself loudly surprised. It was exactly 5 o'clock in the morning. The problem was not the early morning. No. We had preps to attend.
    “She must be kidding" I heard confirmations from several voices.
     My partner and I still had a lot to do. He was the slowest creature I ever met but somehow we could be compared. He could somehow be called the other me on the other side of the mirror. So put the two of us together and you get the picture of quite a team.

  Our patron's expectations were high and we were not to be the ones to disappoint her. No way. We did our best utilizing every minute as if it were our last. By the time for inspection we were more than ready. Having been certified we could hardly wait to get into the school bus. By the time the driver switched on the engine we were already smiling our faces out.
    The journey although short was very long for us. Impatience got the better part of us. We could hardly wait. But finally our hearts would be relieved as we entered the set venue. To our advantage it was going to be a girl school.
    This was a time to tidy the little dust on our shoes and make sure our shirts were well tuck in. Then we were to put our best smiles ready to attract our days catch. But for us this was not going to be the source distraction. Our eyes were fixed on the dream goal. That is to proceed for the next levels of the competition.
   Upon arrival, we had to register our project to our respective category. We were sure to register somewhere in the middle. This gave us time to make some final rehearsals to ensure our efforts would surely not go unrewarded. So we secluded our self from the rest of the contestants. This was not the time to watch others perform although it would have helped to know the mistakes they were making to make sure we did not make the same mistake. We preferred to rehearse to make sure we were not as lousy as most of them were. Some got chills as soon as they set on stage. We had to make sure this did not happen to us. This was not a clever way to tarnish our image leave alone our school’s image.
     So the moment came for us to take on stage and prove to the judges that our project wasn’t just a waste of time.
  “Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to this years science fair…” my partner introduced then presentation.
   “I am your presenter…….this years science fair aims to enhance the achievement of the vision 2030 and my partner and I believe that our project will assist in the achievement of this national goal…” I continued.
     The presentation having been done we could hardly wait for the outcomes. So, after all the presentations were done with it was time to gather around for the release. At this time every one was keen, hearts were at their highest of beats. Anxiety was in the air. Each and every one’s hopes were very high. At the same time we were nervous we didn’t know what to expect it was evident every one wouldn’t be a winner. (Some of us are born losers while some winners our games teacher used to say)
    So anxiously we waited, an electric bell rang through the air and every one knew it was time.
    “…So good evening you all, first of all I want to congratulate you all for participating in this years science fair…all in all we are all winners…so I will call my colleague Mr. John  to deliver to you the results….”
  There and then butterflies sojourned in me.
   “Almighty God if I ever needed your help it is now…..Lord you know that I have been a good boy and I have done my best…..” I said a short prayer in my heart.
        The result now were being read. Some were already celebrating while others were heart broken. So, patiently although impatiently my partner and I waited. We hoped against hope that our names would be called out.
        Luckily we emerged amongst the top three and coincidentally those that were to proceed were the top three teems in each category. We were officially on the team that would represent the district in the next level of competition. As we went back to school, our shoulders were high. Without doubt we would be the talk of the next day’s school assembly.
  “I can’t wait to shake the hand of the principle… we were born scientists my dear brother” my partner said as we left.
      

  CHAPTER 3

OUR FIRST ENCOUNTER

   Back at school it wasn’t a time to sleep and enjoy our victory at the district level. We were aware that the competition would get more stiffer at the county level.

More of this story yet to come

      

Are we the endangered species?

Am sitted next to this man in a public matatu. The radio is on, there is a certain show going on. One who is supossedly supposed to be looking for a lover is supposed to phone(forgive my twist of language). Then, on air the host asks of his or her traits. And asks for an elligible patner to call up for a hook up. So this lady gets on air. As easily predictable she goes ahead to describe her self. I cant help but smile as she describes herself in a vague manner. For a time I start doubting she will get any lucky. But, who knows? I bet there is a man out there as desperate as she is. On a second thought...maybe not.
So somehow my seat companion notices my smile and doesn't hesitate to start the conversation.
"You people are luky"
"Why?" I ask. His comment completely catches me offguard.
"You know during our time there were not as many girls..."
"...Girls ussually played very hard to get..." he continues. At this point I have no idea what he expects me to comment, so I keep silent.
"But you know the ones that want you arent the ones you want..." I finnaly say not aware if it was the right thing to do.
As I alight at the next stop I leave wondering. Was there a truth in his statement and was there to be more insidences of women looking for men instead of the opposite. May be its true after all...men are an endangered species

What will happen then?

I remember the last time we had a fight. Cant quit even remember the reason we were even fighting in the first place. But, i can remember how mad you were. How you were not willing to listen. 'It's your fault' you kept insisting every time i tried
to make sense. I was fast to claim the blame but, cant promise i will always do. So, am afraid' what will happen when I can no longer swallow my pride? What will happen then?

I LOVE YOU

Lately I told my girlfriend 'I love you' but just a few seconds before i did so. I took the little time to think. Was I even aware of what these three words mean? I love you
And then i realized many times before i wasnt being honest to myself. Particulary when i used this words. Not that i was too young. No. I guess we are so blinded as we grow up particilary the microwave generation
All those soap oprahs we watch as we grow up. The hypocracy from our dear parents who have made sure 'relationships' are only myth to be confirmed otherwise only after school. So, as naive as we get, we  take any chance we get , to pass this magical words to those of the opposite sex. Those we claim to love. But think about it. If at all you took your time to check out the meaning of the three magical words given in the above link. If at all you have used the words or if at all you are planning to use them. Ask yourself one question. Are you doing the weight and meaning of the words justice?

A DREAM COME TRUE

When I lay on my bed
I never planned to see you
But fortunately you were
Like bloom
You brightened my night
Like a dream on christmas eve
I prayed you would come true

I prayed and asked santa
To grant you as my christmas gift
Then my passed flashed my mind
Santa wouldnt be impressed

So i gave up
Never hoped to see you
This to me was like facing death
Never in a million years
But then, like a dream come true
The heavens turned blue
The day i met you

I believe God gave every artist a gift to see things twice how others do. Thats why artists have the ability to draw something from it while writers can write something about it

LOVE MADE ME WHO IAM

Some may say I am too young to talk about love, or even worse claim to have  experienced it. To hell with you! Love is different to each person. Depends on how you view it